Independance Day

There are very few days where I feel I am free of my innate cynicism about, well, everything.

But today is one of those days. I feel free just to appreciate being an American. I don't know what it is, but on this day, I can let go of all the resentment, anger, and frustration I feel with my government, my society, and those in it. Even though many people probably are only looking forward to fireworks, beers, and a party, for me, this is a great day. It was the founding day of a great nation. My nation. Yes, I'm biased. But that doesn't make me wrong either.

July 4th, Independance day. Where we celebrate our freedom by making things explode. Bright color and noise and food. There is friendship, revelry, remembrance, and appreciation for everyone who has contributed to our nation's existance as a sovereign state that holds the beliefs it does. Even if it is all just propoganda and smoke and mirrors now, even if that is true... today I can ignore it. Today I can just be happy with the ideal. I can really believe it will someday come true.

So this day is very important to me. It is like a sabbatical. In a way, it is a personal holy day.

Now it is coming to a close, and I'm going to bed. I have had nay a drop of liquor nor a swig of beer. Tomorrow I return home in a borrowed vehicle, and I have also aquired a washer and dryer for my home.

Things are tight financially. Due to the recent car repairs of both my vehicles. Rent is overdue, but will be paid soon. Still, I'm late. And Ronin turns three next month, and I don't know what kind of party I can throw for her.

But today, I'm just content and at peace. That's okay, right?

Happy Independance day!
Happy Insurrection day!
Happy 4th!

~Jera

More than Meets the Eye

Transformers the Movie.

Good or bad?

What is your critique of the film. Did you like it, what did you like about it? Did you hate it, what did you hate about it?

Or give both.

My own critique will be coming up soon.

~Jera

For the logbook.

Well, it has been an interesting and eventful past few days, though only now is it starting to turn productive.

V.O.I.C.E., the company I was considering working for, has told me finally they went with another applicant. Awaiting their leisure to tell me if I was hired or not took up most of the 21st, and this meant that I ended up at Moot late.

Moot was smaller than I remembered it ever being this year. This June 21st marked the 8th annual Midsummer's Moot. What it lacked in quantity of its membership, it more than made up for in quality.

There was considerable drinking, food, and socializing to be had for all.

I have put in my FAFSA application and applied at Delta College for Network Technician. I have also applied to Delta College.

Finally, I've committed myself to finishing my first Novel this year. And at least two other short stories.

I am considering the Border Patrol as a new job possibility.

There is a lot going on, and I'm trying to stay on top of it. Now I must go and continue my documentation work to get continue financing my other ventures and buy the neccessities for the crew.

We've charted several courses, and now it's just a matter of which one turns out to be the most promising, which way the wind favors us.

~Jera

The Death of MuaD'ib

Tonight my friend called me at around midnight.

He had left his house for no more than twenty to forty minutes.

When he returned home, he went down to feed the bunnies, and they were dead. The latch was open, and at least one has a broken neck. He had two. Mad Max and MuaD'ib.

Someone entered his home, and killed his pets. And the police are saying there is nothing they can do. What the hell do we pay them for anyways.

I'm deeply disturbed by this act towards my good and true friend. This was not a random act. My friend is sleeping with his pistol tonight, and his bedmate is loaded. I cannot blame him.

I am very disturbed about this.

There is little else I can say beyond this.

Mirages and Illusions

What a strange occurance.

We sighted the fabled isle, and just as we're preparing to weigh anchor, it grows blurry and indistinct.

Two hours after my interview, I receive a call from my soon to be supervisor. She tells me that the second interview won't be necessary. My first thought is, "Great, excellent. I'm hired." Then she tells me to direct all questions to Dave, their director of Human Resources, and husband to owner. I ask if I'm hired, and she just repeats the imperative to talk to Dave.

I'm confused, and worried, and now wondering, and searching my memory without success, at what I did wrong.

I didn't talk to anyone in the company since I left the interview... so I doubt it was something I myself did. I'm on the edge of my seat.

~Jera

At long last, is this the new world?

For the past nine months, we've been adrift. Not lost, never lost. We like to refer to it as exploring. The destination is fabled "quality employment." The isle of good jobs. And today we sighted it.

It is a healthcare professional position. I have heard tales from about the fellow I'll be assisting. His name is Melvin. The teller of said tales is one Aldrich, who is my longtime friend and fellow army buddy.

The first interview went splendidly, and tomorrow I have another one at 10am to meet the owner of the company.

I'm really excited.

~Jera

Drydock

The goodship Taurus, our beloved Ford, is in drydock.

She's suffering from an exceptionally odd case of electrical problems. Systems that should not be connected, fail and come back on at the same time, frequent and multiple times, so that removes any doubt it's mere coincidence. However, one of the engineers I can afford to have look her over said that they are utterly befuddled. Like many a vulcan scientist on the USS Wolf, he uttered the words, "That's not possible."

Luckily, I lacked a phaser set to stun, and so I just looked at him and said, evenly, "Well, it is not only possible, it is happening. So let us not consider the theoretical and philosophical implications this will have on your worldview, and suffer the epiphany later. At the moment, let us identify what the problem is."

He has, to this date, been unable to determine the problem. So I'm holding it up with the Ford... errr... Aerostar van. That is my beloved Serenity, if you've ever watched "Firefly" you'll understand the reference. Chunks of her chassis fall of with dismal regularity, but I'm oblivious to this and consider it "creative venting". And she is accumulating more vents.

But as rusted and old as she is, she is even more stubborn, and refuses to die. Her engine may sputter at times, and even shut off, but she always roars back to life, loudly and with the venting of much foul carbon vapours. And she goes.

Pressing the petal to the metal creates such a sound as to have visions of angry bee swarms descending upon your metal refuge, but she shoots ahead and shows considerable power for a boxy, unaerodynamic vehicle of her age. I love her to death. And some say that this vehicle will be the death of me. Still, she's a roomy coffin at the least.

Until our Ford is repaired, I'm dubious of the matter of "reliable transportation." As beloved as my van is, she is not reliable, and some wouldn't consider her a means of transportation anymore than they would consider being shot out of a cannon as a means of transportation. Though the cannon does have reliability on its side in their minds.

Still, my resources are sufficient for the time being, but not if there are vehicular repairs to be done. And my dear Taurus decided to fail just after we filled her gas tank. I find the irony in that not nearly enough to send me into fits of hysterics... just fits.

Well, we'll keep her safe in drydock until she's repaired of whatever ails her. And when she's good and ready, she'll be back on the road, a potent and visible reminder that pedestrians really should keep to the sidewalks.

Smooth sailing and god speed to you.

~Jera

A Lengthy Journey

We are now heading out to see a young couple that is going to be married in July. We're travelling to meet them at their place, to do premarital counseling, and discuss plans for the wedding.

We should be gone from today until late tomorrow evening. I am very excited, as both these two are more than decent folk. I'm a little nervous, as this is the very first wedding I'll be presiding over, but I'm certain it will be fine. Just don't want to mess up on one of their most important days.

The place we're headed too is a small land known as Gowen. It is very much out in the middle of no-where. The trip is only 80 miles, but will take all of two hours.

And my daughter desires a "slooshi" on the way.

Well, time to cast off.

~Jera

Rought Waters and Failed Bilge Pumps.

The Goodship Aldritch is taking on water. She's weathering the swells fairly well, and has a heading, but more often then not you're hearing the keel crack and snap just a bit more with each wave she hits.

My good friend Shaun is getting blasted by situation after situation. First he's hit by someone from behind while in his car, and now he's possibly getting the ticket for it. Add to that the next car he got just blew a hose, or the radiator, and is spewing hot liquids all over the engine when he drives it. And to add insult to injury, he is tight for finances as he has lent money to his sister, when she needed it, just a month or two back. Now she is getting a paid vacation from work, and is using her extra time and funds to go on a road trip. Not to repay her debts, especially in his time of need.

I'll be seeing to helping him manage his old vehicle while she's in drydock, but there's only so much the Sara Lisse can devote, having to watch her coffers carefully herself.

My friend is considering going active duty, and making his way across the big puddle to the distant and sandy deserts of Iraq, where his particular type of soldier is getting extra attention from the enemy. Actually, by considering, I mean to say he's in the process of. And why? Well, everytime he gets ahead financially, his family drains him. He's a good man, and is often spurred by guilt, whether it's well-earned or not. The bit of extra leeway his tax returns would have nabbed him paid of HIS debts, and helped out his sis.

I can only wish him luck, and that he finds a safe port soon.

~ Jera

Fugue in D Minor on Cathedral Pipe Organ

It is worth waking up too. The abrupt opening, and the chords playing across your earliest conscious thoughts. It almost fuels you to burst from underneath the comfortors with a hearty evil laugh, "Mhu-ahahahahah!" and then go about your day being productive... whether you are an evil mastermind or not.

~Jera

Crash

My good friend, Shaun Aldritch, was in car accident.

Someone struck him from behind, and gave him a moderate concussion.

He's okay, but I'm worried for him. Mostly his transportation. He was insured, but it was the PLPD, not full. And that means he has no transportation, and has no money to repair his vehicle. I'm gonna see what I can do to help him.

But I'm only in a better position in that I have transportation. His job is one in which he takes care of a fellow who is a ward of the state, and cannot take care of himself in some regards. Mainly, taking his medication and transporting himself around. Shaun needs a vehicle that he can utilize to help this fellow about, or he doesn't get paid.

If you know of any good, reliable, cheap cars. Please let me know. I'm suddenly interested in anything in the $500 or less range.

~Jera

On the Nature of God

I've recently been struggling with my understanding of the Bible.

I'm not going to say the Bible is the final authority on God, because, well, I can't.

I believe I hear from God. At least, I hear a voice in my head, and sometimes audibly, that gives me advice and explains the concepts that are basic to Christianity not only logically, but in ways I can put them into practice in my daily life.

But when I read the bible, the voice doesn't agree with everything in there?

So, I'm faced with a few questions.

Is the bible not completely accurate?
Or if it is, am I not hearing from God?

These questions have been burning in my lately, and I'm studying more and more of the history, from both secular and religious sources. Granted, I disregard the fundamentalists, because they are crazy and stupid. More destructive in their approach to their beliefs than they are helpful. I find them to usually be hateful and misguided people, more likely unwitting pawns of Satan if there is such a being.

However, I do qualify as a fanatic, which somewhat implies that my lot lies with them, or at least on their side of the fence.

My shepherd is leaving the path. The man whom I turned too for religious counsel has doubts. This isn't surprising. A lot of the most devout sometimes doubt. I don't. But then, I'm hardly devout. I'm practical. I'm a soldier of my God, prepared to fight ignorance, hate, prejudice, and selfishness while trying to promote open mindedness, love, and acceptance of each other in our differences. It's a long battle, and I doubt I'll do anything that really leaves a lasting mark. But wars are won by the small contributions of everyone who fights in them.

But it pains me I can't give my shepherd any concrete answers, even if he wouldn't accept them, in his time of questioning. As I'm locked into my own struggle of trying to find out where I stand.

My good friend suggested maybe it is time for a new bible. But I'm terribly concerned that such an act is a mistake born of terrible hubris. I'm not that arrogant, that I could have a better idea of who God is than everyone else.

But when I look at my brothers and sisters in Christ, I also think they are crazy and dangerous a lot of the time. It bothers me, but I've actually been considering my friend's suggestion. And I'm worried, because there is a selfish aspect of me that says, "Wouldn't it be cool if I could reshape the way man understands God, makes it better?"

THAT is Pride, and selfishness. I could never even attempt to transcribe words of divine origin while holding such a emotional or mental state. So at the moment, it's not a consideration. But seriously, the writings we have are... lacking. And the messages my current creed gives are contradictive, and counterintuitive.

Still, I serve the God that Christ did. Because I cannot abandon Christ, or his life and it's message. But I'm torn. I don't know what to do, and I'm struggling with my faith. Not in that I have faith, but in that I'm not certain how I should proceed.

Keep me in your prayers.

~Jera

Permission to come aboard; Granted

Welcome aboard!

This is the good ship Sara Lisse, which means bitter-sweet. I could not find a better name for life, which is what this log is about, the voyage of my life. Sometimes the tedious day to day maintenance that every life, like a ship, requires to keep on sailing. And sometimes the momentous storms or adventures and ports it lands in, or finds itself in.

I'm the skipper, Captain Wolfe, known as the Phantom Jew to some, and as Jera to most.

No, I'm not a jew, and no it has nothing to do with jews, it has to do with Iggy Pop, and his song passenger, and a bad phone connection, and... well, that's a story for another day.

I've been sailing the waters of life for a good three decades, and I've grown familiar with her moods, the rise and fall of her waves, and the tides of her fortunes. I don't claim to know everything, or anything much of worth, and some would say that makes me wise, and some would say that makes me a fool. I leave it to you to decide.

The one thing I can say is that the sea of life can be a lonely place, as often as it can be overcrowded. It can be dangerous, and the others who sail it can be friend or foe, and don't always fly their colors true, if they fly 'em at all.

But I've got my good ship, and a good crew to keep her headed in the right direction, and there's nary else more a man can seldom ask for without tempting the fates.

So again, welcome aboard. Smooth sailing and may the wind be at your back, me mates.

~Jera